HAZING: A Memoir

By Mark Reed

One need look no further than today’s headlines or TV special, to see mention of fraternity hazing incidents. Fraternity hazing is supposed to be a thing of the past, with all national fraternal organizations putting out specific policy statements to that effect. Hazing is deplored and denounced by all Interfraternity Council organizations on all campus settings nationwide. Individual fraternity by-laws and rules make it clear that it will not be condoned or tolerated.

Yet, it still exists. I had thought perhaps it did not exist to the same degree as it did when I was a pledge in the 60’s, but I was wrong. Just look at the headlines that continue to pop up about hazing and resulting deaths. There is no rational reason or excuse for it to continue in our enlightened society, yet it seems to keep sticking its ugly head up. Hazing takes many forms, from mental to physical. No matter the form, it is wrong, and besides that, as if being wrong was not enough, it is illegal. But we all know that just because something is illegal, that’s no guarantee it will not be done.

I have heard arguments that hazing, or whatever name it is given, creates brotherhood and a shared experience of hardship, which will bring those who share it closer together. What a “crock” of you know what! How can a demeaning, abusive and generally negative experience be anything but divisive?

I remember reading headlines some years ago describing a paddling hazing experience at a fraternity on a local campus. A young man, a member of the football team, took “licks” from brothers, which were so severe the event sent him to the local hospital emergency room. In the name of “brotherhood” this young man was paddled approximately 70 times causing bruising and torn blood vessels on his buttocks. There were charges, arrests and consequences levied on those responsible. The particular fraternity was put on probation and dismissed from campus altogether. A real tragedy for all involved, not to mention the black eye it gave the fraternity system in general, which can ill afford such negative publicity.

The event described above, and a TV program I happened to catch part of recently, had a profound effect on me from a personal standpoint. The TV program reminded me of the above-described event, and brought back memories of my own hazing experiences as a fraternity pledge over 50 years ago. At that time, in the mid-sixties, it was “standard operating procedure” for the hazing of pledges to be an almost ongoing daily experience in one fashion or another. It was especially evident during the week preceding initiation as a brother, a time known properly by the name of “Hell Week.” All those who went through it know only too well what I’m talking about.

As a pledge, I was cocky and outspoken (something I’m still accused of today), which did not endear me to some brothers who preferred their pledges to be humble and docile, jumping to attention at any order thrown their way by a brother. I remember washing a brother’s car in a snowstorm. I remember changing the oil in a brother’s car when the temperature was well below freezing. I remember many different demeaning and arduous tasks I was forced to endure, all for the privilege of becoming a brother, which would automatically entitle me to the right of inflicting the same on some new pledge who happened to be cocky and outspoken – or not. Many brother’s justification for doing so was the fact that it had “happened to me” so it was only right for it to “happen to them.” Would that be justification for child abuse? Unfortunately, we know only too well that abuse at the hands of others does sometimes lead to abuse by those victims on yet others. This is a cycle that must be broken.

During my personal “Hell Week” I carried my pledge paddle with me everywhere I went. I had to make sure that my paddle was convenient for whichever brother wanted to give me a “lick” for whatever reason they deemed appropriate. I remember it like it was only yesterday, that particular brother who stopped me in the upstairs hallway of the fraternity house and asked me for my paddle. I gave it to him and he directed me to “take the position” – meaning for me to bend over and grab my ankles while he gave me a “lick” or two. Boy, did he. I lost count on how many “licks” I took. It took all my self-control to keep from crying out as this brother laid into me with a vengeance. To this day I do not know why he gave me such a severe beating. You see, we were forbidden to ask questions, only to comply, no matter what, if we wanted to be initiated as a brother. For over 50 years I have tried, unsuccessfully, to forget that unpleasant experience, never confronting that brother with what he did to me, although our paths have crossed a few times over the years since.

He beat me so bad that he split open the skin on my buttocks. Blood streamed down my legs and as it dried, adhered my underwear to my rear, so that I had to get in a tub of warm water to loosen them enough to take them off. I could not sit down for days afterwards. I kept my peace and said nothing, complaining to no one, being macho, and all the while being nagged with the absolute knowledge that what I had endured was wrong. Did this experience foster a feeling of brotherhood between me and the brother who beat me? Suffice it to say that to this day I have less than charitable thoughts toward that brother. Perhaps my writing about it here will help purge those ill feelings toward that brother, which I have been carrying around for so long. I’m working on it.

I do know this – because of what happened to me, I became and continue to be an outspoken opponent of hazing in any form. Did my hazing experience sour me on the fraternal experience? Thank God, no, for after being initiated, I continued my fraternal involvement, holding various leadership positions. Thankfully, my experiences after being initiated were far more positive than what I endured. In fact, I was an active alumni volunteer for my national and local fraternity chapter at UGA for many years since graduating. Some of my closest and longest lasting friendships are fraternity brothers. I have benefited greatly from being in my fraternity.

I have been asked by one of my sons, who is familiar with this story, why in the world would I allow someone to do that to me? I must admit, that being the man I am today, I would not allow anyone to do that to me. And any organization that condones it is no organization I would associate with. But that was then and this is now.

The point to be made here, and perhaps the moral of the story, is that hazing is something that every fraternal organization throughout the world has to eliminate. It has no place in an organization that is based upon a fellowship of brotherhood. Let it end – NOW!